A Guide To Consuming Media For Free & Cheap
Having fun isn't hard when you've got a library card.
Let’s start out with a gift! Here’s a delightful 4-minute horror short called The Cat with Hands.
Y’all are the best readers, thank you for every comment and share. My goal is to get to 50 subscribers by the end of the year — only 10 more! —so if you know anyone interested, send them this link or this QR code. If you hold down a QR code, you should be able to get the link.
Coming Up: Favorite Horror Endings, Vampires Part One
This Week: How To Watch More Films At A Low Or No Cost!
How I Watch Stuff
Here's how I’ve viewed the last 194 movies, which is when I started tracking which services I use:
Notes:
DVD means DVD and Blu-ray.
Do I pay for every streaming service? Great question!
The DVD Player.
I loved early Netflix; adjusting the family queue for mail deliveries was my honor.
When they transitioned to streaming, everything I wanted was right at my fingertips for one affordable monthly price (that my parents paid).
So why would I own anything? The convenience, picture quality, ad-free experience, massive catalogue, amazing original content, ability to share services with friends and family… you know where this is going.
Netflix has doubled back on every single one of these initial values. Streaming’s massive success inevitably lead to what Cory Doctorow calls 'the enshittification' of Netflix and the industry.
“HERE IS HOW platforms die: First, they are good to their users; then they abuse their users to make things better for their business customers; finally, they abuse those business customers to claw back all the value for themselves. Then, they die.”
My breaking point arriv\\\\\\\\\ed when I craved a rewatch of a masterpiece: Wet Hot American Summer. I’d seen it on Netflix before. Plus, the platform developed an original prequel and sequel series for the beloved cult comedy, so it had to be there.
I typed out the entire title. But it was gone; only the two Netflix original series stared back at me, the footprints of a giant, called to a different land where I could not go. Never again.
So we got a DVD/Blu-ray player! This one. And now I own Wet Hot American Summer, fished out of a thrift bin for a single-digit price.
Stuff gets bounced around from service to service all the time, and even critically acclaimed originals are wiped from streaming.
Some films never have and never will make it to streaming; not just kinky b-movies lost to time, but even recent films like Dogma due to copyright bullshit.
“I don’t have a television.”
Yea, that sucks. New laptops and gaming systems don’t even have disc drives anymore.
April 30, 2024 Update: Apparently, many cd/dvd/blu-ray players are USB-connectable! With the right cords, you can do anything.
You can digitally buy movies for a lower price than physical copies, but digital ownership is a farce when platforms can pull your purchased content any time they want.
The Public Library
A library card is free! All you need is a drivers’ license or any paperwork that confirms you live at your address (and if you don’t have that, they might just give you one anyway because they did to me - librarians rule).
Renting DVDs
I recreated my cherished Netflix by logging into my online library account, creating a queue of films available to rent from my county’s 40-library collection, and staggering the delivery dates.
I go to my library once a week for dropoff/pickup. This is how I met José (hi José!), a horror buff and library staff member who recommended gems like Angel Heart and Petey Wheatstraw.
Also, my library now offers the best value of early Netflix: no late fees! More and more libraries around the country are doing away with them.
Kanopy
Kanopy is the public library’s free no-ad streaming service. I’m obsessed.
What is the catch?
Not every library has access and you only get a certain amount of viewing tickets per month. Mine works out to about 20 films per month.
Like many streaming services now, the user interface isn’t great - instead of scrolling, you’re better off searching online for ‘current kanopy catalogue’ or finding one film you like and looking through their suggested films.
I love their collections of ‘70’s horror and A24 movies.
Library Bookstores
Some public libraries have an accompanying overflow bookstore where DVDs and books might cost under a $1. Zac’s once scored the first eight Saw films for a quarter. Jigsaw bless.
Thrifting
Used bookstores, record stores, thrift stores - I’m always surprised when I see deep-cut horror boxsets or Criterion Blu-rays, but people cull their collections or upgrade to 4k all the time. You can usually get a discount with cash or haggle if you buy multiples.
Tubi, Freevee, YouTube, etc.
The ads arrive mid-sentence which sucks, but the collections can be great! A lot of stuff is ONLY on Tubi.
The Internet Archive
It’s a free online digital library! Mostly public domain, but definitely not all.
The Other One
As a former 123movies user, I don’t know how to do this anymore because I don’t have a very productive nature.
If anyone knows how to properly sail the stormy seas, I have many erotic vampire movies white whales to hunt.
Sharing
Here’s what I have! Ask if you can borrow something. Let me do the same. Let us both embrace the ancient ways of The Reign of Physical Media when the DVD Bonus Feature was king, deepening our friendship along the way.
And that’s it! Happy movie-watching.
I’ve been teasing gay vamps — they’re coming, do not fret — but next week is busy with the holidays, so I’m doing My Favorite Horror Endings to celebrate the End of the Year.
xo,
a rotting corpse that might be allie lembo